when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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