So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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