All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
