But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
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