hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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