he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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