one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize