the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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