i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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