Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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