Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
