My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Well I just put wine in my tea
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
