Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
