Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
