Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
