please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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