she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Vodka?
Forever.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
