not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
