If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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