the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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