I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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