i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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