I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize