i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I fill condoms, not promises.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
