I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
