Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
