I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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