absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize