Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
