Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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