This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
