wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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