umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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