My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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