I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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