I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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