Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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