Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize