Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
