Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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