don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
