He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
