you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Just invented taco cereal.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
