I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
