discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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