nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
