im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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