return my video game
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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