listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
you win again, gameday.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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