At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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