Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
