all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
