So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
