Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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