apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
