I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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