Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize