Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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