Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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