If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
