I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Even my vagina gasped.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
