8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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