Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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