i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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